Monday, October 6, 2014

That's One Hot Pepper!

This week had sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much service. My goodness, we only had two real lessons this week. On Monday night after P-day, we went and pulled weeds for Brother Pullins and his wife. Brother Pullins is the high school janitor and he lets us into the school's weights room every morning, so we definitely owed it to him to do some yardwork. He and his wife are super awkward though. She's always staring at us with a weird grin on her face, and then he tells us some serious TMI stories about why his son got kicked off his mission and how his daughter is, um, infatuated with black men. And he's always asking to see pictures of the girls we dated back home, and I don't feel comfortable giving him that satisfaction. 

On Tuesday, we moved out St. Johns' justice of the peace, Butch Gunnels. Butch is a nonmember, but he's one of the nicest, funniest guys around. He loves the missionaries and is happy helping us out with anything we need, but just enjoys "being a heathen". But then a few weeks ago, he had to go in for emergency open heart surgery, and he's been in an induced coma ever since. He had already made plans to move into the basement of his best friend, Lucas Rodriguez, a super cool recent convert, so Lucas called us up saying it was time to move Butch's stuff over. I had never been inside Butch's house before, because we always hung out at Lucas', but oh my goodness, it was disgusting. Butch is a frigging hoarder. And his horse once kicked out a window and he never got it fixed, so wind had been blowing dust in for who knows how long. And Butch's dog and parakeet had just been chilling out inside the house this whole time pooping and peeing everywhere. I'll tell you what, I felt way dirtier cleaning that house out then I ever did at JC Mickelson's, so that tells ya something. It took all day long. 

On Wednesday, we mowed and trimmed Doris Chavez's lawn. We met her husband, Joe, and he was really nice and happy that we helped. Then we taught Tanner and Jamie Page, a young married couple with a 9 month old daughter that we've been teaching to help them prepare for the temple. They're really the only people in St. Johns that know what's up with pop culture and fashion and the news and whatnot, so I really enjoy teaching them. But a couple weeks ago, they decided they wanted to split up. Well, they decided to try and make it work one more time, so we decided to teach them about the Proclamation to the World, specifically where it talks about what husbands and wives need to do for each other. But then it turned into a big debate between Tanner and Jamie about gay marriage and the church's stand on it, and Elder Blanchard and I couldn't really get it back on track after that. So yeah, we kind of ignited a huge fight between an already struggling couple and then just left. Oops.

On Thursday, we continued on with the Pullins' lawn. Then we went and cut two truckloads of wood with our Salem Ward mission leader, Brother Henry Cohen and an investigator, Roman Cordova. Roman's been an investigator for a long time, but has trouble committing. Then we drove out to the middle of nowhere, out of our area, with our Little Colorado ward mission leader, Brother Chad New, to move a slate pool table out of some lady's house, cuz Chad's dad bought it. That was a heavy sucker. Then we had to move it to Chad's dad's house of course. We did get to have a lesson with Madea that night, and her testimony is super solid, but she's too worried about her staunch Catholic husband to get baptized. 

On Friday, we got called up by the St. Johns seminary teacher, Brother Richins. We had to help him put in his new fence and pour concrete into the post holes. That took an impressively long time. Then our Meadows ward mission leader, Brother Devin Brown, called us up asking if we could move some more furniture for a recent convert, Charlie Gann. Also, Pabla called us telling us her charges were clear so she could be baptized, but we had to explain to her that we had found out she had another charge pending that she didn't even know about yet so baptism would have to wait longer (we knew this cuz Brother Brown is the city's lawyer or something). Then she got really mad and said she would just stay Catholic cuz she's tired of waiting. I tried to calm her down, but what I wasn't telling her was that this new charge would put her on probation for 3-5 years, and she really wouldn't be baptized for a looooooong time. So life kinda sucks for her right now.

On Saturday, we were finally able to relax and watch conference at Chad's house. I really enjoyed it. Lynn G. Robbins', Elder Holland's, Elder Eyring's and President Monson's talks really stood out. I also liked Elder Cook's priesthood talk.

On Sunday, Madea came to the morning session at the stake center and that seemed to be really good for her. Louie came to Chad's for the afternoon session, but he had to leave right before Elder Bednar's talk which really would have helped him.  Then after conference, I ate a habenero (is that spelled right?) pepper. Well, let me back up. Chad was telling Elder Blanchard to eat one the night before, and of course, I was encouraging ("Do it and you're cool! Do it and you're cool!"). But Elder Blanchard wouldn't do it. When we stopped egging Blanchard on, I was like, "Well, I'll do it." And Chad was like, "Okay." But I decided to do it the next day when I had my camera. So after conference on Sunday, I ate a habenero pepper. And you know. It's like a bell pepper at first except after like 10 seconds, it scalds your entire mouth. I drank 3 glasses of milk and then I was just putting ice cubes in my mouth after that. It BURNED for a solid 20 minutes or so. But then Elder Blanchard figured he had to eat one too, and he did. He took it a lot worse then me. The poor guy's stomach felt really bad after and we had to cancel our dinner. He got better though, and we ended up visiting this old lady in Salem ward; just the sweetest old lady. She told us all about how she met her husband (who is now in very poor health, but she's 84 and looks like a 60 year old), all about her kids and grandkids and great-grandkids, and gave us lots of marriage advice and everything. Just a sweet, sweet lady. But that pepper gave me the most painful gas I've ever had in my life! It has never hurt so bad to hold gas in, and I even took 2 Gas-X's right before! And she talked forever, and then some of her kids came to visit and they talked forever! I was clenching my fists and my teeth and was just sweating trying to hold this gas in. We finally got back to the apartment, and I let out some of the biggest, longest farts I've ever farted.
 
So that was my week.
<3 Elder Holladay

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